Lorelai Gilmore is among television’s most endearing and instantly iconic characters. Played to perfection by the somehow never Emmy-nominatedLauren Graham, Lorelai is the protagonist of the seminal millennial showGilmore Girls. Throughout seven seasons and a four-episode revival, audiences see Lorelai go through ups and downs in her personal and professional life. However, her constant and singular sense of humor remains untouched.
Indeed, Lorelai’s chaotic, pop culture-laced, impossibly fast brand of humor isGilmore Girls’bread and butter. The character delivers many instantly iconic lines across the show’s 157 episodes; some are funny, some are insightful, and some others heartbreaking.The best Lorelai Gilmore quotes stand out because of Graham’s unique delivery and the writers' quirky comedic instincts, earning a spot among the best lines in any modern show.
Gilmore Girls
10"Oy with the poodles, already."
“I Can’t Get Started” - Season 2, Episode 22
Lorelai is arguablythe funniest character inGilmore Girls. Her quick wit and relentless, contagious humor make her the life of the party everywhere she goes. Lorelai marches to the beat of her own drum, and her references often go over people’s heads, especially if they’re unaccustomed to her chaotic, random brand of comedy.
This quote comes from Lorelai’s belief that “Oy” and “poodle” are the two funniest words in the English language. She thinks they sound funny, so, of course, a sentence including both will surely be the funniest ever.The quote has become one of the best-known and most celebrated inGilmore Girls, to the point where every fan knows about it. It’s not particularly clever, and it’s more silly than funny, but it’s certainly memorable and perfect to summarize Lorelai’s personality.
9"I would like a cheeseburger with a side of cheeseburger and see if they can make me cheeseburger smoothie."
“French Twist” - Season 7, Episode 7
The two Gilmore ladies love junk food. They eat mountains of it, from pizza to burgers, ice cream, candy, donuts, and many other things that are certainly not great for their health. Luke is constantly telling them to improve their eating habits, but Lorelai and Rory dismiss him, much t his chagrin.
This quote easily capturesLorelai’s motto when it comes to food: the more unhealthy, the better. Anyone in real life with her eating habits would probably develop a severe cholesterol problem, butGilmore Girlsexists in a quirky and fictional world where nothing terribly bad happens. Thus, the two characters can eat as unhealthily as they want without fear of repercussion.
8"I heard he controls the weather and wrote the screenplay to ‘Glitter!'"
“The Ins and Outs of Inns” - Season 2, Episode 08
Jess is a fan-favorite character inGilmore Girls. However, his presence in Stars Hollow was controversial, to say the least, largely because his rebellious and, at first, criminal behavior made the town’s residents nervous. Lorelai herself was always uncomfortable around Jess, and she never loved the idea of him and Rory dating.
During one of the town meetings, Taylor and the others discuss the situation. They name Jess’s numerous crimes while an increasingly exasperated Luke tries to defend his nephew. Lorelai chimes in, deliveringthis quote and adding some of her trademark sarcasm into the discussion. The fact that, in Lorelai’s mind, writing the screenplay for the infamous dudGlitteris a criminal offense is hilarious and perfectly on-brand. Had Jess been there, he probably would’ve agreed with her.
7"I stop drinking the coffee, I stop doing the standing, walking, and words-putting-into-sentence doing."
“Luke Can See Her Face” - Season 4, Episode 20
If there’s one thing Lorelai Gilmore loves, it’s coffee. Fromthe “Pilot” episode ofGilmore Girlsonward, Lorelai’s obsession with coffee is apparent. She drinks coffee non-stop, morning, noon, and night, and addiction she shares with her daughter and mother because, apparently, all three Gilmore girls live for the hot beverage.
This quote comes as a response to one of Luke’s constant questioning about her dependency on coffee. In Lorelai’s mind, a life without coffee is simply a life not worth living, and she’s not shy from telling it to the world. Lorelai is, without a doubt, one of television’s most coffee-addicted characters, giving Dale Cooper a run for his money.This quote perfectly summarizes her relationship with coffeein the clumsy, exaggerated, and weirdly endearing way that only Lorelai Gilmore could muster.
6"I still can’t get over that I’m related to God. It’s gonna make getting Madonna tickets so much easier."
“The Third Lorelai” - Season 1, Episode 18
Lorelai is fluent in pop culture lingo. Indeed, most of her interactions are laced with an un healthy amount of pop culture references. From movies—usually from the ’80s—to television shows, books, magazines, celebrities, and even the occasional obscure commercial, Lorelai’s vocabulary is 90% pop culture. This unique approach makes for hilarious interactions, especially whenever she’s talking to her snobbish, easily exasperated parents.
When Richard asks the girls to guess who he was speaking to, Lorelai goes on a tangent, replying with “God.” Turns out, Richard was actually talking to his mother, Trix, but that doesn’t stop Lorelai from going on and on about how “God” is Richard’s contact. She even states how her close relation to “God” will help her get Madonna tickets.This irreverent and slightly obnoxious quote is perfect to describe Lorelai’s often manic energy. She’s funny, but she can easily become slightly annoying, especially to those who are unaccustomed to her ramblings.
5"When the big hand hits the ‘S’ & the little hand hits the ‘oon."
“Hammers and Veils” - Season 2, Episode 2
And speaking of Lorelai’s parents, Richard and Emily Gilmore are amongthe best characters inGilmore Girls. However, they’re also overwhelming and proud and can easily be irritating with their overly haughty ways. Lorelai’s relationship with them is complicated, to say the least; she loves them, but she can’t, for the life of her, find a way to relate to them.
This quote comes as a response to Rory’s inquiry about when Lorelai will reveal her engagement to Richard and Emily. She always keeps them at a safe distance, never fully allowing them into her life unless strictly necessary. To Lorelai, “soon” is always the answer when questioned about when she’ll do something regarding her parents. Of course, she has a unique way of explaining how soon is “soon,” leading tothis funny reply that screams Lorelai Gilmore in every possible way. Honesty is always the best policy, but Lorelai differs, especially concerning her parents.
4"There’s plenty to do tonight that we can be mortified about tomorrow."
“The Party’s Over” - Season 5, Episode 08
Lorelai isn’t irresponsible, but she’s not one for schedules and order—that’s Rory. Indeed, Lorelai prefers to adopt a more relaxed—some might say careless—approach to life, even in her decision-making. She tries never to stress too much, once going so far as to say she dislikes problems and avoids them when she can.
Take this quote from season 5, in which Lorelai expresses her philosophy. This line might be a joke, butthere is much truth in it about Lorelai’s approach to life. She’s an enjoy-today-worry-tomorrow kind of gal in almost every aspect of her life, and it’s a path that leads her to enjoy a colorful and suitably chaotic life. So what if there are consequences? She can deal with those later. Procrastinating always leads to more trouble, though, but that’s another matter entirely.
3"When I think of blistering thirty-degree burns, I also think of my mother."
“Summer” - ‘Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life’, Episode 3
Emily and Lorelai Gilmore have a challenging relationship. The majority of their issues come from a lack of communication and their sheer inability to empathize with each other. Emily always thinks she knows what’s best for Lorelai, whereas Lorelai can’t think of something worse than becoming a part of her snobbish parents’ world.
ThroughoutGilmore Girls, the two trade several passive-aggressive jabs, although they never cross the line into actually hurtful territory. This line from the 2016 Netflix revival,Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life,perfectly encapsulates Lorelai’s feelings for Emily. There’s genuine love between the two, but spending too much time together often results in a discussion. Their personalities are too different, but at least they make an effort to stay in each other’s lives.
Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life
2"As long as everything is exactly the way I want it, I’m totally flexible."
“A-Tisket, A-Tasket” - Season 2, Episode 13
Gilmore Girlsis full of eccentric yet hilarious characters who are endearing in spite of their bizarre behavior. Lorelai might not be as odd as some of the other Stars Hollow residents, but she has her fair share of interesting quirks, most of which come from a place of pride. Lorelai thinks highly of herself, a quality she shares with the rest of her family.
This quote is Lorelai at her funniest and most sarcastic; however, there is truth behind her humor. Whether she acknowledges it or not, Lorelai is boastful and thinks she’s always right. She admits her wrongdoings, but deep down, Lorelai still thinks her way is the best and refuses to hear anything on the contrary. Curiously, that’s exactly how Emily behaves, proving these two have more in common than they’d like to admit.
1"Everything in my life has something to do with coffee. I believe in a former life I was coffee."
“Fall” - ‘Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life’, Episode 4
As previously mentioned, Lorelai loves coffee. It might be the single thing in the world she loves the most other than Rory, and on some days, coffee might actually claim the top spot. During the revival, Lorelai goes through something of an identity crisis, leading her to a path of self-discovery that she can’t quite tread because she is, after all, Lorelai Gilmore.
In the end, the epiphany comes from a moment when she’s getting coffee. The beverage is comforting to Lorelai, allowing her to be vulnerable and expressive and leading to some of her best moments on the show. In her mind, coffee is like home, explaining why she feels so comfortable whenever she’s having it and craves it when something goes wrong. So, while believing she was an inanimate drink in her past life might be a tad too much,it’s safe to say Lorelai’s life is very much tied to coffee, and this quote proves it.
