Chet in Weird Science
Weird Scienceis a film about two socially awkward geeks named Gary (Anthony Michael Hall) and Wyatt (Ilan Mitchell-Smith) who create an attractive British genie named Lisa (Kelly LeBrock) using a home computer, an old Barbie doll, and the screenwriter’s adorably childlike understanding of technology, and use her to stealRobert Downey Jr.’sgirlfriend. But Wyatt’s older brother Chet (Bill Paxton) constantly tries to thwart their fun by being an obnoxious idiot and at one point making a thinly-veiled threat to murder Wyatt with a shotgun.
The tyranny of Chet is finally broken when Lisa, fed up with Chet’s shenanigans, transforms him into a literal pile of crap, complete with a face and the necessary sentience to comprehend the horror of his predicament. It’s easily the most grotesque display of Lisa’s power that occurs in the film, but she does turn Chet back to normal after he apologizes to Wyatt, and honestly Chet deserved way worse.
The Jesus in Big Lebowski
There are a handful of genuine villains inThe Coen Brothers’ cult comedy classicThe Big Lebowski, including a gang of nihilist faux kidnappers led byPeter StormareandFleaof The Red Hot Chili Peppers, so it’s surprising when the child-molesting bowler Jesus (John Turturro) is introduced partway through the film as a bizarre one-off joke character.
A formidable bowling opponent who is decidedly not intimidated by Walter (John Goodman) or Walter’s habit of carrying a gun, Jesus delivers a memorable monologue in which he refers to himself as “the Jesus” before Walter explains to The Dude (Jeff Bridges) and Donnie (Steve Buscemi) that Jesus is a “pederast” and a registered sex offender. It’s a… strange choice for a comedic character.
Freddie Miles in Talented Mr. Ripley
The Talented Mr. Ripleyfollows a murderous imposter named Tom Ripley (Matt Damon) who befriends Dickie Greenleaf (Jude Law) and then kills Dickie to take his place. Ripley tries to killGwyneth PaltrowandCate Blanchett, successfully murders two more people before the credits roll, and yet somehow he’s not the most despicable character in the movie. No, that title goes to Freddie Miles (Philip Seymour Hoffman), Dickie’s best friend.
Freddie is an odious slouch of a human being, the personification of sticking your fingers into the queso dip at a Super Bowl party and acting like it isn’t a big deal. He brays his way through the film until Ripley mercifully beats him to death with a stone bust, and while this isn’t exactly a heroic deed, it’s sort of anAlien Vs. Predatorsituation in that we are obligated to root for the less irritating monster.
Trent in Friday the 13th (2009)
It’s hard to be perceived as approaching villainhood when you’re in a movie featuring cultural icon / habitual murderer of irritating teenagers Jason Vorhees, but Trent (Travis Van Winkle) really gives it the old my-parents-bribed-my-way-through-college try. He spends the majority of the 2009Friday the 13thremake hiding in well-monied fear in his family’s summer cabin as Jason machetes his way through Trent’s “friends.”
Trent seems more upset that his weekend is being ruined than he is about his companions being murdered, to the point of hurling insults at Clay Miller (Jared Padalecki) when Clay briefly inconveniences him by asking about his missing sister. Trent spends his last few moments in the film heroically cheating on his girlfriend and leaving everyone to die in his cabin before getting fatally bodyslammed onto a tow truck by Jason, who by this point in the film has become the protagonist.
Ellis in Die Hard
If the 1980s fell into a vat of chemicals and turned into a human man, that man would beDie Hard’s Ellis (Hart Bochner). A slimy yuppie executive working at the Nakatomi Building alongside John McClane’s (Bruce Willis) wife Holly (Bonnie Bedelia), Ellis is the equivalent of a police sketch of a man with a massive cocaine debt.
After needlessly endangering John and Holly’s lives by revealing John’s identity to terrorist leader Hans Gruber (Alan Rickman), Ellis tries unsuccessfully to parlay his barely-existent relationship with the McClanes into getting preferential treatment from Hans and his men. Ellis’ plan sort of works – Hans gives him a refreshing glass of Coke before shooting him directly in the face.
Tarby in The House With A Clock In Its Walls
The House with a Clock in Its Wallsfollows newly-minted orphan Lewis Barnavelt (Owen Vaccaro) as he goes to live with his uncle Jonathon (Jack Black), only to discover that Uncle Jonathon is a magic-dispensing warlock, part of a secret society of wizards along with his prickly neighbor Florence (Cate Blanchett). Lewis tries to use his newfound magic to impress a schoolmate named Tarby (Sunny Suljic), because Lewis has never read any books about how popular kids typically respond to expressions of nerdery.
Tarby initially is on board with Lewis’ weird magic tricks, but becomes bored with Lewis once his arm heals and he can return to playing sports. So Lewis invites Tarby over to Jonathon’s house to show him some truly crazy magic, at which point Tarby goads Lewis into performing a forbidden blood magic ritual that brings an evil wizard back to approximate, partially rotting life. It’s a very relatable coming-of-age story about choosing your friends wisely.
Barry in I Know What You Did Last Summer
I Know What You Did Last Summertells the story of four insufferable teens trying to cover up the apparent hit-and-run death of a man they plowed into with a luxury sedan after a night of drunken celebrating. Actually, that sentence needs a quick revision – the only person who is drinking is Barry (Ryan Phillipe), a belligerent trust fund kid who only stops berating his girlfriend Helen (Sarah Michelle Gellar) when he’s shouting at someone else.
Barry’s overly-enthusiastic drinking binge distracts Ray (Freddie Prinze, Jr.) long enough so that he doesn’t see the unfortunate pedestrian they end up hitting. Barry convinces Ray and the others to push the man’s body into the ocean rather than report the accident, and the man (who wasn’t totally dead) comes back one year later to exact bloody revenge, becomes sometimes the universe has a sense of humor.
Sam Rockwell in Several Films
Sam Rockwellis an actor that manages to be incredibly charming and watchable even when he’s playing repellant scumbags, which he does with some frequency. We should have known to be mistrustful of him ever since he proclaimed his loyalty to the Shreddah in 1990’sTeenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
Rockwell’s character Justin Hammer inIron Man 2busts the primary villain Whiplash (Mickey Rourke) out of jail, ultimately endangering the lives of many people, but he’s portrayed as a goofball who gets in over his head because he can’t stand Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.) dunking on him all the time. His character Jason Dixon spends the majority ofThree Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missourias a dumb, violent racist before stumbling into a heroic role in the final act of the film (though he remains a dumb, violent racist). However, Rockwell manages to dance in nearly every one of his films, and so we are inclined to overlook his characters’ faults.
Draco Malfoy in the Harry Potter Series
The instant Harry Potter (Daniel Radcliffe) gets carried into Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry on a cloud of whimsy and the back of a hairy mutant’s flying motorcycle, Draco Malfoy (Tom Felton) instantly singles him out as an undeserving scholarship student who must be destroyed at all costs. He’s the wizarding world equivalent of an angry racist.
Malfoy and his Nazi apologist family dedicate the next seven years of their lives to destroying Harry’s high school career. And even though Malfoy’s dad Lucius (Jason Isaacs) is a part of The Death Eaters, the evil Lord Voldemort’s (Ralph Fiennes) roadie crew that murders half of the cast of beloved characters, after Voldemort is defeated Malfoy himself just kind of gets to go home and quietly raise a bunch of terrible children.
J. Bruce Ismay in Titanic
Everyone knows that the villain ofJames Cameron’s 1997 boat sex movieTitanicis Cal Hockley (Billy Zane), the cruel, haughty millionaire who wants to marry Rose (Kate Winslet) and keep her forever under his thumb. He’s so evil he chases Rose’s new boyfriend Jack (Leonardo DiCaprio) around the sinking ship with a .45, and pretends to be some random kid’s father so he can cheat his way onto a lifeboat.
Even worse than Cal might be the equally pompous yet much more lethally arrogant J. Bruce Ismay (Jonathan Hyde), who essentially causes the Titanic to crash into an iceberg by forcing the captain to travel at reckless speed in order to cross the Atlantic in record time. He insists the Titanic is nothing less than the diamond-sculpted vessel of Odin himself and refuses to entertain the notion that it could possibly sink, which it predictably does, and in spectacular fashion.
