Forrest Gump
“Why, you don’t need to take a bus,” a woman tells Forrest Gump (Tom Hanks) more than three-quarters of the way through the beloved 1994 movie plot. “Henry Street is just five or six blocks down that way….” Forrest immediately stops telling his story and heads to Jenny’s (Robin Wright) place.
In the smartphone era, of course, Forrest would have entered Jenny’s address into Google Maps before he even left Alabama. And back when he was about to go on stage at the Lincoln Memorial, he probably would have checked his phone and seen that Jenny was there, which would have sucked the emotional energy right out of their reflecting pool reunion.
Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
If we’re talking #goals for calling in sick, no one set the bar higher than Ferris Bueller (Matthew Broderick), who spent his day off cruising around Chicago in a convertible, going to a Cubs game, hitting up the Art Institute, and even singing “Danke Schoen” on a float in a parade.
Even if Bueller and his teenage friends could somehow keep themselves from making their epic day into an Instagram story (which is doubtful), when the #SaveFerris hashtag started trending locally, it wouldn’t take long before someone would spot him and post the photo online, proving Bueller wasn’t actually sick.
When Harry Met Sally…
One of the greatest stories ever told about two friends who become lovers,When Harry Met Sally…made the concept of whether or not straight men and women could be platonic a theme of the entire movie. But would it have been the same in the smartphone era?
Without Harry (Billy Crystal) and Sally (Meg Ryan) continually losing track of each other, then having chance run-ins, the chemistry of their connection wouldn’t have been the same. And you’d never have some of the film’s most classic scenes, like Marie (Carrie Fisher) helping Sally scope out Harry in the bookstore.
Today, big breaks only come to those with Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, and YouTube. So convincing your agent, a TV show, and the entire American public that you’re a cishet woman when you’re actually a cis-het man would be nearly impossible in the smartphone era.
Yet in 1982’sTootsie,Dustin Hoffman’s Michael Dorsey convinces the world he’s actually Dorothy Michaels. Also taken in is his love interest Julie (Jessica Lange), who happily accepts his explanation at the end of the film that he was simply trying to land a role.
One Hour Photo
Taking photos with our phones has become so ordinary that it’s strange to remember the one-hour photos that were commonplace at drugstores and supermarkets throughout the 90s and early 00s. In 2002’sOne Hour Photo,Robin Williamsplays what’s easily his creepiest role, a technician at one of these outlets who’s also a stalker.
When Seymour Parrish (Williams) sees photos that make him think one of his favorite customers (Connie Nielsen) is being cheated on, he goes off the deep end, but luckily the police arrive just in time. In the smartphone era, Williams would have a completely different job—iPhone repairer at the Genius Bar, perhaps.
Risky Business
Nearly a hundred teenagers at the biggest house party the neighborhood has ever seen—with sex workers invited for those who’d like to lose their virginity. If that nearly insane gathering was kept off social media in the smartphone era, it would be a miracle.
Not only that, when someone shows up unexpectedly for a college interview, Joel (Tom Cruise) is able to convince him (with the help of his sex worker girlfriend) to make a positive report to the university. In today’s era, the school (and Cruise’s parents) would have had messages about what was going on the second the man walked in the house!
Said to have revitalized the horror genre when it came out in 1996,Scream’s success was partly due to its killer trailer. The first 30 seconds were one single scene, which began withDrew Barrymoreanswering the family landline with a friendly, “Hello?” and then “Who is this?” while she makes Jiffy Pop before watching “some scary movie.”
The scene also starts off the film, and the killer calling on the phone is a theme throughout it and subsequent sequels. Of course, with caller ID, the whole creepy line of questioning is moot. And who answers the phone when they don’t recognize the number anymore, anyway?
Towering Inferno
Widely considered to be the best 70s “disaster film,”Towering Infernobrought togetherPaul Newmanas a true-hearted architect andSteve McQueenas the fire chief you’d most want to rescue you from a burning building. But in the smartphone era, there’s no way the movie’s plot would have happened.
Images of entire floors of the building bursting into flames would have quickly made the rounds online. In the film, the luminaries attending an opening gala on an upper floor aren’t alerted to the fire down below, which leads to them being stranded (and in need of rescue by McQueen, Newman, et. al.).
Fatal Attraction
In the internet era, stalking takes on a whole new dimension, and so would the plot ofFatal Attractionif it had been made today. In it, Alex (Glenn Close) forms an unhealthy attachment to Dan (Michael Douglas), culminating in an infamous scene where she steals Dan’s child’s pet rabbit and boils it alive.
Before the rabbit incident, Alex shows up at several locations that Dan is at with his family. Today, he could have easily taken a photo of her to prove to police he was a stalking victim, if Alex didn’t also leave an online trail. But in the film, the police don’t believe him. The rabbit doesn’t make it, and Dan barely does.
Casablanca
“Play it Cortana, play ‘As Time Goes By’” just doesn’t have the same ring to it. SoCasablanca’s most endearing moments—when the reunited couple Rick and Ilsa (Humphrey BogartandIngrid Bergman) ask piano player Sam (Dooley Wilson)to play their song—wouldn’t be the same in the smartphone era.
In the age of social media, you would also have to try a little hard tonotknow a thing about the man your wife dated when she thought you were dead. And about that—not knowing if someone is alive or dead is also much harder than it was whenCasablancawas made. So the entirety of the classic film’s plot would be hard to pull off today.
